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Friday, August 25, 2017

#BloggerLife Confessions: Scales are the Enemy

Confession: Scales are the Enemy.

This week hasn’t been the best of weeks. It’s been hot and humid all week and Tuesday was the year anniversary of Mr. Pud’s passing. I purposely scheduled my doctor’s appointment at the mental health clinic for that day because I just couldn’t stay stuck in the house on that day.

So off I went to my appointment where I of course have to have basic vitals done, temperature, blood pressure, general health questions, and… Weight.

Believe it or not all my life I was super skinny. I was a size 3 in high school which may sound like a dream come true but when you have that one bitch who insists you’re suffering from an eating disorder and proceeds to say so at every opportunity in a loud voice, well, it’s not so great. Add to that a teacher who says she’s a “nurse” but was in fact a bully with a “degree.”

Anyway, I graduated high school and up until I was 26 maintained a weight of 105 tops. I didn’t like how skinny I was, all pointy angles and flat chested. Long story short, I started therapy with a wonderful lady who helped me deal with a lot of problems and childhood traumas I had been hoarding without my knowledge. That seemed to unlock something because I gained weight rapidly. Soon I was 130 which was my ideal weight but then I developed a nasty habit with all the stress and loss in the intervening years: I started to stress eat. And guess what? I’m a very nervous person to begin with and tend to stress out a lot.

And that brings me to the present. Here I sat this Tuesday looking at the scale in total denial as it said in clear writing 150 pounds. I’m 5’4” and I have a heart condition that will not take the extra weight kindly. I wanted to burst into tears. The day was hard enough but to have THAT show up? I’m almost 20 pounds overweight according to some charts and yeah that was not a fun revelation.

So now I have to make a solid commitment to try and lose some weight in three months before my next appointment and I have no idea where to start. I don’t do diet fads, and exercise is difficult with my heart condition and the heat problem here. I DO have that exercise board, um, oh yeah The Simply Fit Board that I need to try out. I actually got it for my mom but she’s having trouble balancing on it so I think I’ll try that. I’m also going to have to pay more attention to what I eat and how much which in El Paso can be a bit tricky with all the Mexican Restaurants and heavenly fast food places just around the corner. I’m already having withdrawals. But this weight gain is a serious problem for me and I have to make a conscious effort to get it under control especially with the holidays right around the corner.

Have any of you had to shed some pounds? What worked and what didn’t for you?

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