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Thursday, May 11, 2017

In Her Own Words: OMG They Got Me a Bucket!

Name: Hayley
Nicknames: Lady Blue, Hayley Bean, Haywee (Thanks to the little boy up the street who can’t pronounce my name), The Velvet Burrito, The Itty Bitty Pittie, Mini Bull, Pittiepotomus, Hayley the Mini Hippo, The Foodie, Havoc Hayley… They keep adding more so…
Favorite Pastimes: Eating. Snacking. Munching. Chewing. Stealing shoes. Going for walks. Going to Starbucks!!!! Meeting new people.
Random Facts: I have an opinion about everything. Also, I don't like it when momma takes forever to feed me.
Age: I’m about 3 years old but I act like I'm 6 months old.
Breed: Staffordshire Terrier or as my mom likes to say Staffordshire TERROR.

Okay so I've been doing a lot since the last time I shoved mom in a corner and took over the laptop.This week is Frappucino Happy Hour at Starbucks, which is like, my favorite place to go EVER! Except maybe the outdoor mall. Or maybe it's a tie. Anyway, on the first day of Happy Hour I jumped in the car and was like:

Because really, how long does it take two humans to get their butts in the car and drive???? I didn't appreciate mom laughing at the way I sit though. I mean, she sits on her feet for crying out loud! So, then we get to Starbucks and I see the line but I don't care cause:

I didn't think it could get any better but then the next day I got a package in the mail and you know what? It was a new walkie thingy that I kind of remember mom telling me about. The old walkie thingy was upsetting mom because she said it was hurting me and not helping me learn to walk like a "civilized" dog. Whatever.

I was so happy because I was starting to think I wasn't going to get my early Sunday walkies anymore and I do love those! I just don't know how this thingy is supposed to make me civilized.
So we went for my walkies and seriously, instead of letting me walk in peace, grandmom was taking all these pictures where I had to stop and "look pretty." I'm like Are you serious? Dog walking here!!! I just couldn't help showing my annoyance at one point.

But I forgave her (And mom for making me stop and cracking short jokes at me) because they took me to get my favorite dessert bones!! OMG and I even got a free one because I'm so cute!
That was an awesome day. Until mom got some new books in the mail and started nagging me. She's like "Hayley come here, I need a picture of you with my books for Instagram," "No Hayley the book is not a toy!" Well why would you give me a book if I can't chew on it? What's the frigging point??
Ugh, I don't know what mom expects when she puts stuff in front of me. Does she expect me to just pose with things and NOT play with them? It's like she doesn't even know me!

And then things got interesting. My aunt that I've never met but loves me anyway sent me this seat thingy for my car. See, my grandmom drives like a loony and sometimes when she turns or brakes, I kinda... Roll off the back seat onto the floor but because my car is so small I got stuck this last time which sent my mom into a panic. I was fine but mom was afraid next time I would get really hurt if I got stuck down there. So she told my aunt what happened and my aunt bought me... Well, I don't know what it is exactly but it looks like a bucket:
So yeah, mom was afraid I wouldn't like it but I don't care. I got to roll around on it so now it smells like me. The only problem I have with it is that mom keeps laughing at me and I don't know why!!

Now I go on my car rides like a pittie in a basket. Mom's words, not mine. Yesterday though, mom wanted to take me out for a walk in the neighborhood because it wasn't as hot, in fact it was a little cold. She told me that I had to wear my t-shirt though so I said:

And it looks like it's gonna be a "No" today too, at least until it's time to go to Starbucks. I don't like wearing t-shirts or jackets. Until next time peeps!

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 EDIT TO INCLUDE SOME REAL FACTS FROM HAYLEY'S MOM: Hayley's grandmom does NOT drive like a Loony. Hayley just doesn't know how to ride in a car yet. She treats the back seat like a sofa.

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