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Friday, February 24, 2017

TGIF Week End Wrap Up

Aw man this week was hard guys. My mom has a cold that won’t go away. She’s coughing and sneezing like crazy! But that was just the beginning!

So as a kid I suffered from bad migraines and truth be told, the medication I was given didn’t help all that much and may have caused more harm than good (Let’s just say I didn’t have a heart murmur before I started those meds). Now I don’t get them as often or as strong and I manage them with more natural remedies. Along with the heart condition I now have, I also get dizzy spells every now and again. Sadly, I got one going into the bathroom at the house on Sunday night and fell forward. I hit my cheek on the sink and had to sit down for 45 minutes on the floor before I could get up and wake my mom. The skin didn’t break but I have a peach sized bruise on my face. Needless to say I refuse to leave the house lest someone think I’m being beaten at home. And I don’t like people staring at me so yeah, I don’t want to leave the house until it heals. It hurts like the devil even now but with alternating treatments of hot and cold compresses and apple cider vinegar the swelling has gone down and the bruise isn’t as dark as it originally was. It’s still pretty noticeable but it doesn’t look like I painted my face in camo paint.

Unfortunately I was forced to not only exit the house this week but talk to someone up close with this beacon on my face. The only thing that could get me out of the house besides a fire? A scared, loose dog in the neighborhood. The house I live in is very close to TWO busy streets and sadly I’ve seen my share of unfortunate pets/strays who try to cross and I frankly did NOT want to hear the screech of tires later. So out I go to talk to a woman who was trying to catch the dog to ask her if it was hers. It wasn’t but she did know the dog’s name: Sam. I grabbed Hayley’s ground turkey and try to tempt him. No go, he’s skittish and won’t get close to me. I toss food to him and then try to get close to clip the leash on him and he would run. The lady had to go pick up her kid from school so I said I’d try to get him for her. Well Sam and I did the same back and forth for an HOUR and I was getting tired and running out of turkey when my I heard Hayley going bonkers in the house barking because my aunt’s cat was teasing her. I quickly told her to “Sit down and hush” and that’s when I noticed something. Sam had sat down when he heard me say “Sit.” So I called him forward and said “Sam, SIT!” And he did. So I tried another command: “Lay down.” And he DID! Not only that but since I obviously did something that was familiar to him (Give him commands he knew) he let me approach him and clip the leash on. I was thrilled! He changed form a fearful dog to a sweetheart in an instant. Luckily he had tags on and I was able to contact his family who actually lives on the street behind us. I was relieved because normally people here don’t give a tinker’s damn about animals. They don’t want them? They dump them outside like trash but Sam was well loved (He smelled like shampoo) and cared for, he just happened to escape his yard. I hope he doesn’t get out again and that his family takes my advice and gets him neutered since that could have also triggered his instinct to roam.

I also started to de-clutter the room we live in. I’ve mentioned that my mom and I want to move up north but what I haven’t mentioned is that we want to do the Tiny House thing. Nothing too small and definitely not on wheels unless it’s all we can afford but we’re looking for a place that’s no bigger than 700 sq feet. We’ve decided that we don’t want to do the long ass mortgage or the high ass payments. We’ve done tons of research and found a few neighborhoods with houses around that size with prices that we could see ourselves doing. In order to do that though, we’d have to get rid of A LOT of our stuff. When my mom got divorced she and I moved out of a four bedroom, two story house and took most of the stuff in it with us. We don’t need all that anymore since for the past six years we’ve lived with only the stuff in the room with us and minimal amount of clothing for us to choose from. It’s simpler and less stressful plus, I’m not domestically inclined. I hate looking after household chores (Unless it is yard work, then I don’t mind so much), and I despise spending more than a handful of hours a week cleaning or dusting knickknacks. So yeah, it’s a small/tiny house for us. I’m ready to try something new that will give me more freedom and not feel so traditional or constricted.

I've started a self-acceptance journal too. I was reading a few things online and while I'm not comfortable doing this 100% online, I kind of tweaked a few things so that I could do both. The purpose is actually a form of therapy for people with depression, low self-esteem, anxiety etc. I thought it would help me shake off some of the stigmas and preconceived notions of what is acceptable in terms of looks, style, and personality. I'm not going to lie, a lot of my self esteem issues come from comments and criticisms I got as a kid and a teen from so-called family back in the day. It really screwed with me and I know I'm not the only one this has happened to. Anyway, I've done a handful of "selfies" on Instagram as part of the journal. I'm still not comfortable with having my picture taken but part of the journal is to accept yourself and see yourself not in a mirror but through a camera lens so that you can see yourself in a "third person's view." I can honestly say that looking at a recent picture of myself, I don't have half as many physical flaws as I was originally told throughout my life. Yeah, I'm 20 pounds heavier than I was five years ago but the weight looks better on me. I LIKE being a size 8 (or 10 depending) instead of a size 3 like when I was a teenager and even into my early 20s. So yeah, I am seeing myself and recognizing that I have flaws like everyone else, I have parts of myself that I don't like, but it's not up to someone else to tell me what those are. I'm not delusional or living in that La La Land of "Total Self Love" because that's unrealistic. I'm just owning my flaws just like I own my strengths and then I'm deciding what to do about those flaws.

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