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Tuesday, June 2, 2015

Goodbye My Friend

Goodbye My Friend,

Yesterday we had to say goodbye to you my friend. It was one of the hardest things we had ever done. No matter that we’ve been through it before, every time is still like having our hearts torn out of our chests.

Your loss though, yours was something all together different. Because you were just so full of life, love and perky terrier personality that it is so hard to look around and realize you're not coming back to us.

You were mom’s dog. Her Bear Bear, her Pequeno Bebe. She loved you with all her heart because you were HERS. From the moment she first met you that day in the streets with your fur all matted, starving but still happy for any attention you were given, she felt a connection with you. We couldn’t keep you at the time so we found you another home. One where I would be the babysitter and mom could still see you often. I remember you being dropped off with your little baggie of dog food and your bowl. I used to toss it out so you could eat the “Good Grub” that Mr. Pud was eating: Chicken, beef, veggies, and brown rice. You were in doggy heaven on those days.

Sometimes I would even throw in a bath and a hair trim even though I knew you weren’t fond of either one. I do admit your looks of absolute betrayal and promises of retribution were hilarious coming from a 13 pound dog that looked like a drowned rat when he was wet. My favorite part was your fishy shower coat that had to be put on so you wouldn't wet the walls while you were wet.

Fast forward a couple of years and your forever home wasn’t so forever. Once again you found yourself with nowhere to go and no one to speak up for you. Mom just wouldn’t pass up the chance to have you for her own, despite the fact that we could barely keep ourselves fed. So you came to live with us. It wasn’t an ideal situation what with two adults and now two pooches in one room in a house but we made it work. After your sadness over your abandonment had worn off, you blossomed. You were bright eyed once again; your optimism was one of the things I loved best about you. No matter what, you were determined to be happy and bouncy and all those things I wish I could be.

You weren’t the only one though.

Mom fell so hard for you. For your goofy smile, your bear like nose, your little feet… Everything. Even the fact that at about three feet long you were a space hog and a pillow hoarder (I found that one out the hard way). The best part though was watching you fall asleep with your tongue out. Oh and I can't forget all the weird ways you fell asleep too. What was up with wedging yourself in between two pillows that were on top of a pile of blankets that you yourself squished together?! How did a 12 pound runt even do that?!

It wasn’t long before she was making up songs about you or buying you PJs for the winter. Your jailhouse "Bad Dog" pjs were hilarious. They were indicative of your hidden inner devil, but even at your naughtiest you were just so precious. It was even funnier in those jailhouse pjs. I could never keep a straight face, neither could mom. She just loved to put you in your different pjs and parade you around the house. Or watch you play with the cats because you just wanted to be friends with everyone you met.

I wish I could find photos of your Halloween jammies though. Those bones with the candies were priceless.

Then there was the matching Santa hat for Christmas. You know mom had to get you one to match her own hat. Christmas is her favorite holiday you know so she just had to share it with her little Bear Bear. We should have made it into a holiday greeting card. The two of you looked so darn cute.

I know mom won't mind me posting the photos of the two of you from last Christmas.

And who could forget the elf hat?!

As soon as mom saw the elf pjs with the elf ears she snatched it up. Did you know she pushed someone out of the way to get them for you? She wanted you to match her elf hat too. Like I said sweetie, Christmas is her favorite holiday and you were her baby boy.

Thank you for being such a good sport with her during the holidays, you sure made her smile last year. I will never forget the joy you brought.

Let’s not forget the traditional Ugly Christmas Sweater mom bought you last year. However, mom drew the line at dressing you like a lobster though. I still regret not just buying the costume and putting it on you in secret.

The memories are so numerous it would take weeks to list them all. We may not have had you for your entire life, but for the handful of years we had you it was all fun and games. That’s why yesterday was so devastating to us. You went from the perky, happy go lucky guy to a weak, pale and fragile creature. The cancer took over your body quickly, as the villain always does and though your heart may have wanted to stay, your body just couldn’t hold on. So we made the choice to set you free.

I know you’re in heaven with the other kiddos we’ve said goodbye to and I know you’re pain free and young again, but I also know you’re looking at mom and seeing how much she is hurting right now. I know you see that she’s barely hanging on and it looks like she’s never going to be okay but I want you to know My Little Friend that she will be okay. In fact, she’ll be great, and that’s because when the pain has receded and the gaping wound in her heart heals to a scar, she’ll be able to look back at all the memories you gave her and she’ll smile. She’ll be a better person for having loved you. So will I.

So don’t worry, I’ll look after mom in your stead. Run free with all the other critters, you’re so dang friendly I’ll bet you already have a group of friends to play with. Never forget though, you were and always will be, very much loved.

Until we meet again,
Goodbye My Friend.


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